Topic-icon How to shower like a woman

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11 years 3 months ago #173267 by dudette
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN Take off clothes and place them sectioned in laundry basket according to lights and darks.

Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts etc.
Get in the shower.
Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
Condition your hair with grapefruit and mint enhanced conditioner.
Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
Rinse conditioner off hair.
Shave armpits and legs.
Turn off shower.
Dry off all wet surfaces in shower.
Spray mould spots with tile cleaner.
Get out of shower.
Dry with towel the size of a small country.
Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

How To Shower Like A Man:
Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
Walk naked to the bathroom.
If you see wife along the way, shake willy at her making the `woo-woo' sound.
Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
Admire the size of your willy and scratch your bum.
Get in the shower. Wash your face. Wash your armpits.
Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
Wash your bum, leaving those coarse bum hairs stuck on the soap.
Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
Wee.
Rinse off and get out of shower.
Partially dry off.
Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of bath the whole time.
Admire willy size in mirror again.
Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
Return to bedroom with towel around waist.
If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake willy at her and make the 'woo-woo' sound again.
Throw wet towel on bed.

Don't knock it . . . everyone knows it's true!:laugh:

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11 years 3 months ago #173270 by riggz
:laugh:

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11 years 3 months ago #173274 by HideousKinky
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
I love it!!!!

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11 years 3 months ago #173280 by zoe
dudette wrote:

Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts etc.


LOL! Sounds way too familiar


Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.


:lol: :cheer: :lol:

But why- dunno-but we do...

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11 years 3 months ago #173299 by MISS.J
:( does that mean i'm actually a man?

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11 years 3 months ago #173318 by zulugirl
I love being a woman. Although at times I wish I was born with a penis on my forehead.:silly:

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11 years 3 months ago #173320 by icecream
i awso want to know coz i dont do none of those things that they have mentioned for the females, its a gross exaggeration wow tjoh tjoh tjoh.

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11 years 3 months ago #173321 by Gerrry
zulugirl wrote:

I love being a woman. Although at times I wish I was born with a penis on my forehead.:silly:


OMG what an image, ZG!:woohoo:

I take it you mean an erect penis or what's the point of having it? Have you thought of how this will affect [highly promiscuous] homos? Have you thought of what you will look like? :ohmy:

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11 years 3 months ago #173322 by zulugirl
Gerrry wrote:

zulugirl wrote:

I love being a woman. Although at times I wish I was born with a penis on my forehead.:silly:


OMG what an image, ZG!:woohoo:

I take it you mean an erect penis or what's the point of having it? Have you thought of how this will affect [highly promiscuous] homos? Have you thought of what you will look like? :ohmy:


Nay Gerrry I never thought about what I would look like because I'm not vain:P :P :P :P Aye I'm just being silly.

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11 years 3 months ago #173323 by Fantastical
MISS.J wrote:

:( does that mean i'm actually a man?


You walk aroung dingling your willy? :dry:

Live, love and laugh... ;o)

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11 years 3 months ago #173328 by icecream
lol i awso want to know that

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11 years 3 months ago #173329 by mickelle
dudette wrote:

HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN Take off clothes and place them sectioned in laundry basket according to lights and darks.

Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts etc.
Get in the shower.
Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
Condition your hair with grapefruit and mint enhanced conditioner.
Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
Rinse conditioner off hair.
Shave armpits and legs.
Turn off shower.
Dry off all wet surfaces in shower.
Spray mould spots with tile cleaner.
Get out of shower.
Dry with towel the size of a small country.
Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

How To Shower Like A Man:
Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
Walk naked to the bathroom.
If you see wife along the way, shake willy at her making the `woo-woo' sound.
Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
Admire the size of your willy and scratch your bum.
Get in the shower. Wash your face. Wash your armpits.
Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
Wash your bum, leaving those coarse bum hairs stuck on the soap.
Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
Wee.
Rinse off and get out of shower.
Partially dry off.
Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of bath the whole time.
Admire willy size in mirror again.
Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
Return to bedroom with towel around waist.
If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake willy at her and make the 'woo-woo' sound again.
Throw wet towel on bed.

Don't knock it . . . everyone knows it's true!:laugh:



I love it....the intrigue, the drama, the comedy, the fairytale....it's all so human!!
:P :P :P

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11 years 3 months ago #173754 by veniqe
Um, these jokes are awfully sexist. Do we have to make jokes about the supposed gender differences, age, race? What about intelligent jokes?

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11 years 3 months ago #174172 by dudette
veniqe wrote:

Um, these jokes are awfully sexist. Do we have to make jokes about the supposed gender differences, age, race? What about intelligent jokes?


Its your prerogative to read or not to read the jokes...I was not aware that this forum is a dictatorship.Regarding intelligent jokes...knock yourself out..no-one is stopping you in that regard.

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6 days 10 hours ago #204281 by rtiiosl
Hi, I am looking for some towels for the gym and for the river to go in summer. I need small ones so as not to carry a huge bag with me. Do the towels on BestHomeSupplies.com absorb moisture well enough? Does the color fade? Though I don't think this is a great problem.. anyway, can you recommend those towels?

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