Topic-icon MY NIGHT OF TERROR

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12 years 2 months ago #105316 by studmuffin
MY NIGHT OF TERROR



At an ungodly hour I was woken up by the constant buzzing of propeller blades. Is it a plane, is it a bee… nooo, it’s a mosquito or better yet a platoon of the tiny buggers. I clearly hear them, swooping up and down as they pass my ear. Waiting to attack. One smack, two smack. Nearly took my eye out. I start the thinking and realize that the new age mosquitoes are trained by the CIA and Al-Qaeda.



My reason are:

they are suicidal
they got camo tactics and easily blend in with a door
they disappear and cannot be found (the osama of the insect world)
they wait for darkness


Back to my evening. These demons for middle earth drove me insane. Evasive tactics were needed. I close all but my face. Their buzzing still pearcing my duvey. I feel safe until, I take a deep breath and the sumofabeetch slips in and out of my nose. That was the last straw. In my dazed and confused state I crawl towards the light switch. Its extremely dark, I can see nothing. I click on, I click off, I click on again. That’s when I realize it’s a conspiracy. Eskom and the mosquito brigade are out to get me. Load shedding has never affected me in this way. I slowly pull the knife out of my back as I stumble towards my bed. The attack continues, I need a moment to think. I leave my cozy domain and retreat to the great outdoors for a smoke and to collect my thoughts. The cool air brings my body temperature back to its usual self. Its war I tell you but only the intelligent will win this one.



Back to bed I go. Stumbling through the darkness I find my once safe haven. I completely submerge myself in my bed clothes. But they can smell me. They rotate around my covered head driving me to a point of insanity. I am not winning and my body quickly reaches boiling point. The last straw, offer them a limb. If I could dislodge one and hang it on the door I would. I uncover, stretch out an arm and a leg. Have it, I can deal with the itch in the morning. No, the bliksems got me where they want me. They continue there torrid torment, buzzing by my now very sensitive ears. I hear them hover above, I feel them landing on my legs and arms. My hair is standing up now and every sense I have is hightened, well except for my sight. They are firmly in control now and there is nothing I can do about it.



I grab my cell phone. Light it up and they all gone. Not one can be seen as I look around the room. They all gone. As the light goes from bright, to dim, to off I hear them. They back. I repeat steps one and two again. It bears no fruits once again.



The light suddenely switches on. The same destroyer of hope is my savior after all. Its payback time. I’m out of bed like a bat out of hell. Vest off, my weapon of destruction. They gone but this time I will find you, I shake the curtains. 1 appears out of the shadows, I swing wildly, missing once, twice. He flies across the room, and then disappears as he finds a dark background. I’m not giving up. I startle him in his sleeping place. Gotcha with one quick swipe. They everywhere, I have awaken a sleeping giant. The odds are 10 to 1. That doesn’t scare me. One by one I knockem down. I feel good about myself when all 10 are dead. Their blood curdling screams couldn’t save them. The blood stains are on the door, the curtains and wall. I don’t care, this was war and I won. Or so I thought.



I climb back into bed. Proud of myself and what I’ve achieved. Then the horrendous sound returns. Buzzzzzzz in the distance. I give up now. I am drained from my earlier encounter. I offer up an arm and leg. Have it, you win.

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12 years 2 months ago #105332 by Keiron
how goofed were you when you wrote this here ??
jislaaik - I'm printing this and reading it when I'm high next (should be in the next 6 months I swear)
funny though very very witty !!

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12 years 2 months ago #105334 by studmuffin
i was sober and very tired this morning. i wrote this cause i needed to share my pain!

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12 years 2 months ago #105339 by baltozar
ha ha !! ripped!!! i also had a similar experience. i recently moved to Durban and forgot that there are mozzzies herewa... they irratate you at night big time!!

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12 years 2 months ago #105340 by Jukkie
studmuffin wrote:

i was sober and very tired this morning. i wrote this cause i needed to share my pain!


I feel your pain, I live next to a veld or forest as the highbucks like to call it. And I hate sleeping with windows closed. I spend more money on insect destroyer than liquor:(

Good stuff, u should publish it:cheer:

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12 years 2 months ago #105344 by Somnambulist
LMFAO!!! Shame buddy!!! I know da feeling wuh, da never-ending buzzzzing & shit, ma wat sal ons doen huh.... Moet ma net lewe met die naaierkies!!!!

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12 years 2 months ago #105669 by Nokie
Studdmiffin - BAYGON PLUG IN MOSSIE REPELENT ....Try it!

But this is a classic please send me one story every week i love it i really do:laugh: :laugh: oh and askies for loosing the war:woohoo:

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12 years 2 months ago #105698 by Angelj
Well done studmuffin, I think you articulated what most of us try to express when it comes those pesty mozzies!

There is definitly a creative flow you have gooing there - you should give it a shot, besides nothing ventured nothing gained!!

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12 years 2 months ago #105702 by Herbsta
STUD!!!!! See what happens when you lose badly at the poker bra, next time take more moola!!! Or try the charro-style 5c inna pool games!!!

PS: Drink a good single malt whiskey, preferably Irish, like Bushmills...(LMPP)...mozzies will leave you alone, guaranteed!

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12 years 2 months ago #106455 by zulugirl
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: \"Excellent\" Thanks for making my morning :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

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1 month 4 weeks ago #204274 by rtiiosl
Hi, poker fans. In one game, I almost always bluffed, and due to this, I first won, then I began to lose very quickly. In another https://www.score88poker.bid , I never made a bluff and began to win more or less on probability theory from 1 \ 10 to 1 \ 5-1 \ 6, which had a very good effect on All-In. The same miscalculation in the program can be analyzed on various sites. Guys. When you play poker, do you somehow calculate bets? I believe that poker is a brain game, here luck is not important, but your brains are!

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