Topic-icon Sharing money before marriage

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12 years 4 months ago #87681 by Landi
Unfortunately I don't know the gritty details of this situation , my friends friend has a problem. Dit ga soo...

She has been in a relationship for more than a year. Her bf wants to buy a car, but bf needs R20 000 for some reason( kennie details nie), but apparently he can choose something else where there is no need for extra R20 000. Now he wants this chick to borrow him the R20 000. Now she is contemplating whether she should borrow him the cash or what.

Ek weetie hoekom nie, maar die situation proe nie lekker op my tong nie. :S

I don't know if I would so kind to \"borrow\" my bf that much money.

Ek weetie..is ek selfish??? :huh:

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12 years 4 months ago #87690 by Shakes van Poort
ne jysie selfish nie...

What kind of a USELESS man is this that borrows money from a girl... en weet jy wat as sy hom klaa die geld geleen het dan gaan hy rede soek om dit nie terug te betaal nie... hy gaan haar somma vir n stoopid vat en as sy hom los verloor sy ook haar R20 0000...

Tell ur girlfriend she must stop watching E-TV there is NO judge Judy in South africa so she is gonna loose her money..

En vi wat sit die stupid nog n R20 000 deposit neer? Vi Wat ... om die premie met n R200 pm te laat daal? ne man die ding is nog n stoopid ook...

Mens hettie iets soos n deposit nodig om n kar te koop nie...

jy kan inie bank instap en en n koopkontrak kry sonder enige deposito...

so hy wil ha ROP of hys dom..

en byraway die depositi vat die dealer en hy druk dit in die company se bank account...

of as daai djita se pay te min is laat hy vi shakes kom check en shakes photoshop chop n lekka payslip vi hom

DILLIGAF
Ek se wat ek wil, waneer ek wil, en net hoe ek dit wil se

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12 years 4 months ago #87693 by Jamma
B)

I can't tell you from a chicks point of view... but I can tell you from mine.

Ouens have been hemriging money for since time has began.
Personally, I can't be sitting well off while me partner is struggling. I've been taken advantage for as a result, but I guess it's just in my nature. (I am very weiry of making this mistake again.)

I think that she should first make sure that the money is really needed and she should be able to do without it, in the event that he never returns it.
B)

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12 years 4 months ago #87700 by Chu_chu
HELL NO! tell that chick NO! u dnt borrow him R20 000. Money kinda has a way of coming between people... even if there is love involved. money can also mess up everything when either partner wants to get out of it. JUST DNT DO IT! marriage is a totally different ball game

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12 years 4 months ago #87702 by Gissel
R20 000:ohmy: R20 000:ohmy: R20 000:ohmy:

nee vok ek sal jou R50 leen maar ek soek it terug en as jy my los dan verloor ek maar net n R50. My hartjie sal seer wees but I will get over it BUT R20 000 NO WAY!!!


Tell your friend not to borrow him. I have borrowed friends cash in the past and they never gave it back, what guarentee does she have... NONE!!!

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12 years 4 months ago #87705 by bruinMulatto
ok i have had my now x bail me out of serious financial starins b4, bt that was just small change compared 2 wat this ou wants, i wud never ask 4 such a substantial amount

i usually js asked 4 like quick cash that i may not have had on me at the time, like mayb we wana go home n i ask her to lend me so much 4 petrol.

the rule is, she asks cash frm me, so depending on how much it is, n if she will need it in the near future, i will repay her, anowise, she knew she was never gonna c it again.

its not lyk i dont batch her now n again wen she is in a tight spot.

but 20 000, man that is lyk loan shark money, i wudnt.

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12 years 4 months ago #87707 by ROXIE2
I think that if she has the money and they love and trust each other then it should be cool!!!

If she is going to lend the money or take out a loan then that is another issue!! I would'nt do it!

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12 years 4 months ago #87709 by Landi
I see what you guys mean...
Logic tells u No, its not an option ( seems like he can buy something else)
But then she has been with this person so long and obviously loves him, so maybe she can trust him. :dry:
Its only money afer all.
But then I think again .. nee fok.. maybe she worked hard for that money, he won't appreciate it as she would.

I guess what is making me think abt this is that I wouldn't say no if my bf offered to borrow me money. So maybe I have double stds jus coz he is the man.
:S

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12 years 4 months ago #87712 by ern18
no - not R20 000.... that really is asking a bit too much!

No man can make you feel inferior unless you give him your consent Bryce Courtnay in White Thorn
In order to attain the impossible one must attempt the absurdMiguel de Unamuno (1865-1936)

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12 years 4 months ago #87713 by Torusso
Is she 100% sure that he is even buying a car? That 20k might just be for something else.That is just absurd.. This bra is making us ouense look swak here. Why is she even dating a bra that needs so much cash. His paying for his drug habit.... As Shakes said these days you dont need a deposit to buy a car...

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12 years 4 months ago - 12 years 4 months ago #87721 by Aiden
Some men go into relationships because of what they can see they can get out of it. I have seen some men date a woman because her daddy has a nice car and takes care of her and would never want to see his precious daughter suffer or unhappy even if he has to help her boyfriend/husband out of every jam he gets himself into.

When you date a man then one of the things you need to look at is his spending and saving patterns. If he starts off by making large loans from you and anywhere else then how will he be able to look after you and a family once you get married?
Don’t be fooled! Even a fancy expensive car and name-brand clothing can just mean that there is a room full of bills at mommy’s house.

Don’t “loan” him the money, it is a sign to run and not look back! Unless it is me asking for that loan :whistle: :pinch:
Last Edit: 12 years 4 months ago by Aiden.

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12 years 4 months ago - 12 years 4 months ago #87722 by Faaibop!
If yo friend wanna get rid of his ass and she can afford to lose 20g's, than by all means tell her to go for it. Cause that's what's gonna happen anyway. If she don't loan him the money, she's gonna lose him nog steeds.

Some men are kak like that.
Last Edit: 12 years 4 months ago by Faaibop!. Reason: Posted before I finished typing en n' biekie grammar.

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12 years 4 months ago #87723 by LSOB
Landi wrote:

I see what you guys mean...
Logic tells u No, its not an option ( seems like he can buy something else)
But then she has been with this person so long and obviously loves him, so maybe she can trust him. :dry:
Its only money afer all.
But then I think again .. nee fok.. maybe she worked hard for that money, he won't appreciate it as she would.

I guess what is making me think abt this is that I wouldn't say no if my bf offered to borrow me money. So maybe I have double stds jus coz he is the man.
:S


1 year is really not that long.. if she loves him, great and if he loves her, he should bladdy take out a second loan.. he's probably a spoilt brat who wants the most expensive mags in the shop.:lol:

no seriously, i don't think she should do it. unless she draws up a legal contract stating that he will pay the money back in a certain amount of time and make him sign it.

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12 years 4 months ago - 12 years 4 months ago #87724 by bruinMulatto
love or no love, money has a way of getting btween ppl, i mean, lets say she borrows him the money, wen is she gonna get it back?

think about it, its going 2 b very difficult 4 her 2 ask 4 it back, cause the guy is gonna feel lyk:

\"Ohh so u think im not gonna pay u back huh?\"

n i mean really now, if he needs that kind of money, y not flippin go 2 the bank n get a proper loan.

1 thing we r 4getting ere is we r all ppl, n yes mayb it is 4 a gud reason, bt like other ppl we all die.

WAT IF HE GETS HIS ASS IN SOME SHIT N GET KILLED ( GOD FORBID)

has she thout bout that, is her money secure, will she b able to retrieve it no matter wat, it is after all a lot of money.

n how is he going to pay it back, with installments?

its gr8 2 help out a partner, bt then there is pouring petrol on urself n smoking, hoping u wont catch a light, u might not bt chances r u will.
Last Edit: 12 years 4 months ago by bruinMulatto.

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12 years 4 months ago #87725 by Lampard
Ag fok man...vrouens is ma in general stoopid as dit kom by boys en their toys..

No matter what sy gaan nog steeds daai lysgat die 20 gorries sjee...dan se sy nog vir hom.....Baby you not gonna run away with my money neh.....Maar sy weet vir n feit hy gaan haa indoen :dry: :dry:

So Landi al se jy ha sy moenie die geld vir hom gee...Gaan sy dit nog steeds doen regardless van wat

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12 years 4 months ago #87728 by zulugirl
Money is not evil, people are. In December I lent a friend R40,000-00 and two weeks ago another friend R20,000-00 and u know what? not even one of them has picked up the phone to say hello dog are you okay.

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12 years 4 months ago #87736 by Aiden
zulugirl wrote:

Money is not evil, people are. In December I lent a friend R40,000-00 and two weeks ago another friend R20,000-00 and u know what? not even one of them has picked up the phone to say hello dog are you okay.


Dammit my best friend in the whole wide world who I love so much and who would do anything for me just like my broke @ss would for her, we should go and sort them out.

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12 years 4 months ago #87737 by Shakes_van_Eldos
zulugirl wrote:

Money is not evil, people are. In December I lent a friend R40,000-00 and two weeks ago another friend R20,000-00 and u know what? not even one of them has picked up the phone to say hello dog are you okay.



en ek hoor nou eers jy het geld uitgeleen.......en nogals so baie....jy is kak vanaand....


maar ek moet sê daai is mos ñ lysgat Kaapie wat sponge op sy meddie.....en is waar Lampard hy gaan haar oor die kop slat....maar sy gaan nie worry nie.....sy sal hom weer en weer geld leen......

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12 years 4 months ago #87743 by zulugirl
AAAAAAAAha Shakes I can always scan the proof to u, because I gave both of them bank guaranteed cheques.

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12 years 4 months ago #87744 by Neptune
Ok here goes! In the first place he shouldn't be borrowing money from his girlfriend he should go to the bank! I would suggest if this girl wants to borrow him the money let some1 pull up a contract stating the repayment terms of the cash and keep it with her just in case he wants to dodge her!

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