Monday, 09 March 2015 10:21

Metrorail Diaries

Written by Theo Jonker
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The signal is frozen on red, it doesn't blink. Slowly but surely the sun is setting us free from an unwanted tan... as for the wanted tans of the paler skins who want a golden-brown glow... we are doing just fine.

"Hey my broe wat maak djy 'an oppie waentjies?", a guy enquires from a guy looking unsettled.
"Die petrolprys het my gekry ou broe" he replies.
"Ja-nai, ek ry net weeken's en special occassions mettie kar" the friend replies. "Die motjie sê my dis crazy om twie grên op petrol n maan' te spend" "Sy sê my, djy kan we'k toe ry maa' dan skaal os af op jou braais, jou biere, jou expensive colognes en jou social allowance." "Ek spring maa' oppie trein ou bra" he explains.
"Ou bra, djy's mos mettie minister of finance getroud eksê!" the other guy exclaims.
"Ou broe sy choke elke sent twie kee' marrit wêk nogals" He defends his wife.

The train crept up on us... As we leave the station a guy asks his friend: "Wat dink djy vannie laaities wat mekaa' soe seks en spyke' oppie skool wanne hulle moet lee'?"
With his head shaking the guy replies: "Die TV, internet en Hollywood pop songs lee' mos nourrie kinnes. Ek en djy is mos spectators. Ek onthou nog hoe ek 'n laaitie was en 'n Playboy magazine ingesmokkel het byrrie hys. Toe my ma 'rit kry bel sy die poliese, die pastor en skoolmenee... en ek kry soema goed op my m@£r by my pa!"
"Daai wassie laastes, ek het nooit wee' nie." he says.
"Hai laaities dink nou hulle is movie stars. Ek sal hulle 'n nag innie polies selle lat slaap. Watse nog van skô's", the other guy says.

At Parow station a young girl enters with a tight fitting mini-skirt, just covering the bare essentials.
"My motjie en dogte' kô oek eendag met soe 'n stukkie lappie hystoe vi' n skool function. Ek smyt hulle altwie yt. Sê hulle gan soek blyplek waa' sy soe kan lyk! Nie te'wyl ek skoolgel' betaal'ie!"
"Hulle is dikbek daa' weg ommie ding om te ryl. Lee' klaa' dan koep djy vi' jou n mini-skirt en soe 'n kar se ek haa", he concludes.
We arrive at Bellville station. The young girl in the mini-skirt pulls it down and composes herself.
Mooi was nog nooit lelik gewiesie.

Theo Jonker is a radio presenter at Radio Kaapse Punt, a freelance journalist, an author, a poet and Certified Petrolkop and we are glad to welcome him aboard as one of the new bruinou.com contributors.
This is the first instalment of his Metrorail Diaries in which he feels the pulse of the Cape Flats through what he sees, hears and the conversations he participates in when he sometimes takes a ride on the waentjie. Theo will also at some point contribute articles in other categories and we look forward to that. - Editor


 

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